A Different Kind of Mission
by SkywardShadow
Summary: It's Itachi's first babysitting experience, and Sasuke seems determined to drive him out of his mind. An attempt at humor. Oneshot.


Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters in it. If I did, Itachi never would have died.

**A Different Kind of Mission**

………………………….

"….Sorry, Mother, my hearing must be going. I could have sworn that you just asked me to babysit Sasuke."

Mikoto inwardly sighed. "Your hearing is fine, Itachi. That's exactly what I said."

Uchiha Itachi was momentarily speechless. He supposed the request was inevitable, though still surprising. After all, he was fourteen years old, and Mikoto couldn't be home _all_ the time. Fugaku, his father, was away on a mission as per usual, so naturally the job fell to Itachi.

It wasn't like he didn't love his brother to bits. Sasuke was generally sweet-tempered, especially for a soon-to-be three-year-old, and was adorable to boot. But Itachi had friends with younger brothers, and they had all fed him horror stories of their own babysitting experiences. From what the prodigy had heard, even the most innocent toddlers suddenly became little demons when left with their big brothers.

But all things considered, Mikoto _was_ his mother, and she didn't ask him for much. Itachi figured that this was the least he could do. Besides, how bad could it possibly be?

If he'd been paying attention, it would've occurred to him that those were famous last words.

But he wasn't paying attention. "All right, Mother."

…………………………..

Itachi had decided to think of the whole job as a mission. An A-ranked, potentially dangerous mission. Mikoto would be gone for around an hour and a half running errands.

Sasuke had been napping since their mother left, which was about ten minutes ago. And since the youngest Uchiha usually slept like a rock, Itachi figured he was home free.

Oh, was he wrong.

The first incident took place after about an hour. Itachi had mostly stayed outside training, checking on Sasuke at ten-minute intervals. It fell into a pattern. Ten minutes, sleeping Sasuke. Ten minutes, sleeping Sasuke. Ten minutes…

Nothing.

Itachi did a perfect double-take. His baby brother _wasn't there._

Years of shinobi training kept him from panicking. He calmly searched the entire room, but found no sign of his little brother.

_How could he have escaped the…?_ Itachi hadn't even finished the thought before the answer smacked him in the face. _Crap. Of course..._ He vaguely recalled Mikoto telling Fugaku that Sasuke had developed a talent for climbing out of his crib. _How could I have forgotten?!_ the prodigy thought dismally.

But he could beat himself up later. Right now he had to find his brother.

………………………………

Itachi had learned a very important lesson: No amount of training could keep panic at bay for long if your brother was missing. Especially when that brother was two years old and talented at getting himself into trouble.

For almost thirty minutes and with increasing worry, Itachi had been tearing the house apart, room by room. Living room, kitchen, their parent's room, etc. He had looked in the most ridiculous places-in the sink, for instance. And _still_ no sign of Sasuke.

The only place he hadn't checked was his own room. He hadn't bothered up till now because he had locked the door. Hadn't he?

Evidently not. Out of desperation, Itachi looked in his own room, and there on the bed sat Sasuke. Just as cute as ever, staring up at his big brother with big, dark, innocent eyes.

Itachi took a deep breath. _What a relief._ "Sasuke, you need to stay in your crib during naptime," he said wearily. He knew Sasuke could understand; after all, he _was_ an Uchiha. "Or cry and have me come get you. _Anything_ but just disappear. You had me really worried." Sasuke blinked. "Sorry, 'Tachi," he said in a remorseful little voice.

Itachi sighed. He couldn't stay mad at that face. "It's all right, Sasuke. Just don't disappear again without telling me, okay?" Sasuke bobbed his head up and down in agreement.

………………………………..

Itachi and Sasuke sat on the sofa together a few minutes later, watching one of the toddler's favorite shows. Itachi couldn't even begin to describe how incredibly stupid the show was, and when he could stand it no longer he turned to Sasuke and asked "Are you hungry, little brother?" _Say yes, say yes, __**please **__for the love of Kami say yes…_

Sasuke paused, thinking it over, then nodded. "Great. I'll go make you a sandwich or something, okay?" Anything to escape that torturous living room. Sasuke grinned and nodded, and Itachi all but flew off the couch and into the kitchen.

A commercial break shortly followed his departure. And Sasuke, whose almost three-year-old self had a very short attention span, decided to find some other way to amuse himself.

He crawled off the couch. About halfway down the hall, he remembered his brother's request and called "'m leaving, okay, 'Tachi?" and crawled on.

But such is the Curse of the Babysitter that Itachi was washing his hands at the time. Accursed sticky jelly.

He didn't hear a word Sasuke said. So naturally, returning to an empty room sent him into a state of near-hysteria.

"_Uchiha Sasuke_!" he yelped in horrified panic. "Where the heck did you disappear to _now?!_"

The prodigy ran like the wind, knowing that Mikoto was due home any minute. Room after room was devoid of little boys, and there was only one place left to look.

Itachi's jaw dropped in the utmost horror when he realized just what that one place was.

_Father's study!_ was the terrible realization. His stomach dropped to the bottom of his shoes. _He keeps all of his weapons in there!! _"Oh my _God!!_" he all but screamed. "Sasuke!"

He bolted through the door, never mind that he had been threatened with death if he was ever caught inside. Itachi paused briefly upon entrance to wonder how his usually orderly father could be such a slob. Papers covered the desk to the point where you couldn't even tell what color the desk was, and there were various shinobi weapons strewn across the floor.

_Wait,_ Itachi thought, with that terrible sinking feeling.

_Weapons on the floor?_

_As in, within reach of a two-year-old...?_

_**AHHHH!!**_

He whipped his head back and forth, at the highest level of panic.

There on the floor at the other end of the room sat Sasuke, in the midst of the chaos, _holding a kunai to his mouth and sucking on it._

Completely losing whatever calm he had left, Itachi ran forward and leapt at the toddler, screaming like a madman. The little raven-haired boy watched his aniki curiously, wondering what had finally driven him insane.

Ignoring the sharp points digging into his feet as he landed, Itachi crouched down and clutched his brother's wrist. He carefully withdrew the kunai from Sasuke's mouth, then carried him hurriedly out into the hall and proceeded to yell at him.

"What were you _doing?!"_ he yelped. "I _told_ you not to vanish aga-" "B-but-but I s-_said_ that I was l-leaving," whimpered Sasuke, his eyes tearing up.

Regretting his outburst, Itachi bent to scoop up his brother and hug him tightly.

"'m really sorry, 'Tachi," the toddler's muffled voice apologized. "No," was the quiet reply. "I'm sorry for yelling. I should have watched you more carefully."

They heard the door open. "Itachi? Sasuke? Is everything alright?" came Mikoto's voice.

Itachi smiled. "…Everything's fine, Mother."

Mission: Successful.

**A/N: This was an attempt at humor; hopefully it was decent! Reviews are greatly appreciated, but don't feel like you have to….Thanks for reading! -SS**


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